What do you do when you feel insecure?
I showed up at Walla Walla University, a small Christian school in the southeast corner of Washington, as a transfer student. I was moving geographically from Ohio to Washington and conceptually from architecture to theology.
You can bet not many credits transferred. I was behind my peers. I was far away from home. I only knew a small handful of people. I was feeling insecure.
The key that opened the door for me was my guitar. Every Friday night there was a gathering in the lobby of the men’s dorm. A few guitar players led out in old summer camp tunes and a few worship songs. A crowd filled the edges of the room, and the balcony above, and people sang for an hour, sometimes more.
The guys who organized this event were seniors, soon to graduate. When they discovered that I played guitar, and had summer camp experience, they invited me to join them. It was my way in!
Something to Prove!
Suddenly, I had a place. I could contribute something that others wanted. My sense of security shot up.
That event was one of the building blocks of my college life. I met incredible musicians that I loved working with. I had a blast playing music nearly every week. People started to know who I was. It was great. When I was in that room with the music and the crowd, I was on top of the world. I felt at home, secure, worthy.
Put me in a room with musicians significantly better than me, or shift my schedule so that I couldn’t participate for a few weeks, and I started feeling insecure and antsy. I didn’t realize it at the time, but something about my heart was being revealed.