So, I’ve got a book out in the world. (Yes… I’m mentioning the book, but this post is about character growth. Hang with me.)
You may not know this, but Amazon gives authors a dashboard showing your book’s progress. At one point on launch day, my book was 32 in the top 100 for its category. In that one-hour period, my book was selling more frequently than all the others in its category. Except for 31.
I’m not sure it’s healthy knowing that. Of course, I wanted to know what those 31 books were. I looked. I may or may not have thought that some of them had no business selling more frequently than my book.
The dashboard updates every hour. So all release day long, I got to fight with myself over the urge to check again. What comes with that? Feelings! Feelings that can so easily be turned into meaning. If the the book rose higher in the lists, that felt good. I am a great author who will change the world! But when the book fell lower on the list, what did that bring? Disappointment. Woe. I’m a hack, and nobody loves me!
All because of this little number representing the comparison between my book and a bunch of others.